‘Maintaining’

I am in the bath! Feeling shite after eating two twixes with my cup of tea and as I see it in black and white I realise how ridiculous that is because twixes, tea and bubble baths are a few of my favourite things.

I have had a pretty normal day at work. Nothing bad has happened, I’m not stressed, unhappy or deprived of anything I need… But for around 3 weeks now I have been mindlessly snacking between meals for one reason or another.

Ultimately I have not actually gained any actual weight from my snacking adventures, the scales have been pretty decent to me… But I just know I can’t get away with this for much longer. It’s bound to catch up with me sooner or later!

I never anticipated quite how hard it would be to ‘maintain’ or even thought about what ‘maintaining’ actually meant to me, wether it be weight or a state of happiness which stemmed from generally feeling better about myself…

I seem to be in a vicious circle at the moment starting the day with ALL the best intentions, planning my meals etc etc but somewhere in the day I lose my way and just decide to ‘treat’ myself…. Despite the scales not changing, I feel crappy and I can’t stop thinking about food in a slightly obsessive way, like knowing it’s bad but doing it anyway. It freaks me out because I see how easily I could become 16 stone again.

It’s weigh in tonight and I really don’t want to go. It’s also pancake day and i fully intend on having a couple of naughty pancakes!! I’m thinking maybe I will have the pancakes and weigh in tomorrow with a view to try and be a bit better tomorrow… 

There is no actual point to this post other than I needed to write this all down and hopefully it will make me feel better and hopefully I will start being a bit kinder to myself! 

Also I would really really love to hear that I’m not a crazy person and that other people have been or are in the same position!?

L x

5 Comments

  1. Rachel
    February 9, 2016 / 4:06 pm

    I’m feeling the exact same way with obsessing over food. Except I’ve only just started slimming world and the scales haven’t moved a single bit. I’ve been sticking to plan 100% and staying within the syn range. I’m having pancakes tonight and I’m beating myself up even though again they are within my syns! I did lose two stone prior to starting so it’s not a drastic change in lifestyle but it’s still disheartening. It’s a mental battle that never ends, some days it’s easier, somedays it takes all your strength not to binge. I still haven’t mastered being kinder to myself. x

    • February 9, 2016 / 4:09 pm

      Ahh Rachel how frustrating that you are giving it your all and not seeing a change on the scales!! I hope you see the changes you want soon and well done on the 2 stone already lost x

  2. Joanne
    February 9, 2016 / 4:22 pm

    I’m only about half way though my weight loss but have so far managed to lose just over 2.5stones. Losing weight I think is far more of a mental challenge with yourself than anything else. I was really good all weekend turning down all sorts of goodies and then came into work Monday and dived head first into the biscuit tin at tea break. Why? I don’t really know but I do know that after that small hick up I made sure I completely screwed the day up rather than it just being slightly over my syns! It’s so frustrating! Can’t Imagine what a mind field maintaining is…
    Sorry not much help just more rambling at you, but just know I think everyone finds it hard! X

    • February 9, 2016 / 4:45 pm

      Sounds just like me I always end up blowing a whole day because of a little hiccup!! Well done on your Weightloss so far that is fab!! Xx

  3. Meg
    February 9, 2016 / 4:24 pm

    I find maintaining a lot harder than actually loosing the weight! In total I lost 2 stone 4ibs using slimming world, however since my wedding in August I’ve found it so hard to get back to it. I would do it so well for a week or two then have a massive binge! I’m now just above my target weight and know I can loose it I’m very like you with the snacking scenario and the whole guilt that I feel. It’s mad how much a diet can consume your everyday, it’s just trying to find a sensible balance and still enjoy food. Your posts are amazing along with your Instagram I love looking on it for recipe ideas and your motivation pictures! Don’t let a phew minor snacking incidents discourage you! 🙂

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