So on December the 14th 2015, after feeling a bit dizzy and my nips killing me (which I now know must be my sign as it was my sign last time) I decided to take a pregnancy test.
It’s one of those things that I never really know how to feel about if I’m honest. I have had one positive before with Abbie and I was honestly beside myself upset, I was 21, still living at home and had just been promoted to a new site at work with a rather lovely large pay rise.
I was not ready and I cried and cried and phoned my mum straight away asking her to bring home another test.
I have since then had a few ‘scares’ I don’t really know if that’s the right thing to call them but I always felt scared, and then after always felt a bit upset when they were negative!!
So anyway, I got a very faint positive… And after a few days another faint positive, then a couple of days later, a strong positive… So I realised that by this point I am most probably pregnant.
My first thought was omg, I can just about look after one, how the hell am I going to keep two alive…. My 2nd thought was, where on earth are we going to put this baby and all the stuff that comes with it!!! Then I thought, oh shit I’m going to get fat again.
I have spent the last 9 weeks feeling a bit crap, sick at the most random times and generally feeling sick most of the day. I didn’t have this with Abbie so I was a bit floored by it. I have been following slimming world loosely but basically just wanted mash potato, toast, cereal and not much else. The thought of fruit and veg made my stomach churn. Unfortunately this made me feel very guilty and pointlessly worrying about how much weight I was going to gain.
I have ofcourse googled ‘average weight gain in pregnancy’ and for someone of a ‘normal’ weight (whatever that is!?) it is between 25-35lbs. I have spoken with my nearest and dearest many times also, I’m pretty sure it got to the point where some of them wanted to smack me for being so ridiculous, because as they keep saying ‘your pregnant! Stop being so hard on yourself!’
It is very easy to play the comparison game when you are feeling a bit crap. I can honestly say that it is the silliest thing. There are some people who have done amazing and look amazing and have tiny little neat bumps and washboard stomachs within weeks of giving birth… Everyone is different. By comparing myself to any of these it just ultimately makes you feel shit, I know this because I’ve done it and have given myself a good talking to!
I am now feeling normal and pretty sure I am at the part of pregnancy where you feel good, but just a bit more tired than usual. I have been eating well when I can but enjoying a few more treats than normal. I intend to follow slimming world when pregnant as I have heard amazing things, I know I will gain weight and I am now ok with it, its a given and would be a bit worrying if I didn’t! What I want to make sure is I am being healthy and looking after myself and the little pea, aslong as I know I am doing my best when I can to be healthy then the rest will take care of itself. And as people keep saying ‘you’ve done it before you can do it again’ which is nice but equally I’m in my head like ‘yes!! But do you know how hard it was 😩😂’
I just want to say I may sound ungrateful about the whole being pregnant thing I’m honestly not, we are very excited and very fortunate that it was so easy for us I do know this, but it’s normal to be scared… And I’m just putting it out there incase anyone reading this is in the same position and also feels a bit scared!!!
Here are some pictures from the last few weeks I am loving my growing bump, I didn’t have this last time as I was so overweight! I’m excited for a healthy pregnancy and hopefully by the end of it a lot less complications than last time!