In a matter of weeks, Isla will be two years old.
I sometimes cannot believe I have survived the last two years. I have never shied away from the fact that they have been tough. Not just because of two tiny, very important, little humans to look after but also a house move to contend with, relationship struggles and a whole other heap of stuff going on.
I think it’s so easy to feel sometimes so bogged down by motherhood, I feel like I HAVE to say here that yes, I am ridiculously fortunate, that my kids are pretty bloody amazing and of course I do know how extremely lucky I am, every single day I thank my lucky stars, but that doesn’t mean its a walk in the park.
Isla is the most defiant, testing, strong willed, kindest, caring, loud, funny, confident and most full of character little girl I know. She is a whirlwind of emotions, she cries and screams when her Daddy leaves for work, she waves me off without a second glance 🙄. She follows around her big sister all day, just copying her and chatting away. She says ‘Sausage Roll Mummy’ if we walk past Greggs, then opens it up chucks the ‘Roll’ to the floor and eats the Sausage. She says ‘Bye Lads’ when we leave shops and makes people melt like she is absolutely no trouble, those blue eyes and blonde curls have a lot to answer for. She will give Abs a wack for no reason then say ‘Abbie what matter?’ with the biggest puppy dog (WTF did I do?) eyes. She bosses me around like no one has in my entire life, I am wrapped around her little finger and I absolutely adore her.
I almost feel like the last couple of months a little cloud has lifted. I feel like I have bonded hugely with her and that despite her feistiness and strong mind (which can be hard work) that I simply cannot get enough of her. I feel like being able to communicate with her more has helped so SO much. I can almost reason* with her (*bribe her) and when it comes to parenting, well lets just say ‘if you stop it… you can have a XYZ’ will get you very far in life.
There is something about being able to understand what she wants and her understanding me more that has just made it all, dare I say, easier. Which sounds a bit thick really, because obviously that helps, but when they are going through certain phases of development and growing up, it can be quite consuming and easy to forget how quickly they do grow and change.
Its so true, that the days are long but the years are short. I just cannot believe that she is nearly two. I have spent some time this week, looking through old blog posts and photos and just reflecting. Reminding myself that I have survived, we have survived, and the girls are more than fine… what is different now to when she was a newborn, is I know I’m doing my best and I know I’m a good Mum, it sometimes makes me a little sad that it’s taken me 5 years to realise that but here we are.
Abbie has continued to be an incredible big sister, they definitely bicker and fight more than they used to but they also play together, they play Drs, Mummy and Baby, and they just run, hide, jump, tickle and laugh together so much, there is absolutely no better sound than hearing them uncontrollably belly laugh together, it makes my chest ache and my eyes water.
If I have learnt anything in the last 2 years its that I’m usually losing my shit because of me and not because of them, that if I just leave the house work, leave the actual work (when possible), let one ball drop… that actually not every ball will drop, but I will be able to just give them a bit more of my attention and this usually helps calm most situations down. Also to have confidence in my parenting but know I can still pick up the phone to my Mum when I feel like I’m losing my mind.
So there we have it, nearly 2 years of Isla Mae and I simply cannot remember life without her.
Link for Isla’s ‘Got That Vibe’ Tee Zom Zom Clothing